Back In The Game

Okay. So I just realized that it's been 4 years since my last relationship ended. I haven't been in one since. Is that terrible? I mean, I've dated a couple people but never made anything official. I never felt the urge to(I know that's bad). Well, tonight I closed the door on a 5 and a half year "situation". It wasn't the best "situation" to begin with and I'm glad it's actually over. Which gets me to thinking, maybe it's time I start thinking about settling down. Not settling down as in marriage. Lord knows I'm nowhere near ready for that. But settling down as in seriously dating someone.

I kind of feel like I'm talking crazy. I know relationships, atleast all the ones I know of in RVA, don't really last. Or they are flocked in drama. But I'm willing to play nice for the occasion. We will see how long this phase lasts. Just kidding. I will take all potential suitors seriously.

Gays Can't Catch A Break!

On Wednesday NY lawmakers voted against a bill to legalize gay marriage. Gay marriage is legal in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts and Vermont. A New Hampshire law takes effect Jan. 1. Only 6 states out of our 50 believe in equality for all it's citizens. Really?! I know that despite our claims of separation between church and state we as Americans still value the bibles teachings, but this is the 21st century. It seems a little hypocritical that we uphold our bible but judge others that live by theirs. We are quick to brand a Muslim a terrorist but refuse to give law abiding, tax paying citizens the right to love who they want to love.

It makes me sick to my stomach that we can't prioritize when it comes to our laws. I would much rather lawmakers make stricter penalties for people that commit crimes against children or organize a taskforce to solve cold cases then decide whats right for people when it comes to relationship. Two men that decide they want to get madried doesnt threaten me or my idea of marriage at all but a predator roaming the streets because he was let out of jail early does! People protest against adults making personal decisions but don't move to act against youth violence or our failing education system.

When will more important issues get their day to be reviewed? Or are they not popular enough to be relevant? Get it together America!

A Mommyless Thanksgiving

In all my 24 years I have never spent a holiday away from my mother. Not even college stopped me from going home. Well this year we had a death in our family. The majority of the family resides in Minnesota so I had a decision to make. I could either use all my spare cash to pay my way across the country or I could spend the holiday with my cousin and her kids in Maryland. I just couldn't conceive of not being with my mom for the holiday so I decided to stay in Richmond and work. I was fine with my decision until the day before. That's when it hit me that I wouldn't even get to see my family for the holiday. I have to admit I was a little depressed. I felt the urge to cry all Thanksgiving eve.

On the day of Thanksgiving I woke up early and did absolutely nothing. I didn't even eat breakfast! I went to work and one of the girls I know promised to send me a plate. It was such a nice gesture. That was my 1st thanksgiving meal. It was delicious. It wasn't the Liberian style cooking I'm used to but it was yummy. I got a second plate later that was yummy as well. I was so thankful for the people that sympathized with my predicament and saw that I had homecooked meals for the holiday. I was also thankful that I didn't cry not once when I thought about my mom being halfway across country. All in all the day wasn't that bad.

Been So Long...

I haven't written anything in a few weeks. Been feeling uninspired I guess. You would think I would write more since I have access to the web at my fingertips via the new phone. I'm going to try and get out a couple post per month like I used to.

K.E.M.F.

Being Off the Grid

Last week I made the decision to cancel my cell phone. I intended on starting a new plan with a new company. I thought at least I would have my Internet while I didn't have a phone. I had the Internet alright but no computer(long story, but know that I am a spazz). I was alright the first day off the grid. I cleaned my house, watched tv, worked out, and did my hair. Very productive for one day. But when I had to enter the real world it hit me like a ton of bricks! I was alone out in the world. All I had was an old phone just in case I needed to call 911.

It's a weird feeling to not have a cell phone in this day in age. I felt extremely disconnected and vulnerable. I'm already paranoid but I couldn't help thinking about the what ifs. Crime is high in the city. What if l fell victim to some kind of misfortune, how would I notify my friends and family?! The thought was overwhelming. It's crazy that things like that constantly ran through my mind.

I also wondered what all I was missing. I'm sure people were still texting me despite my various tweets and facebook statuses. Sometimes I felt like I might go crazy from the lack of communication. It was such a drastic change for me.

I don't think that I could do it again unless I absolutely have to. It seems I have become dependent to technology. So sad, but true.

The Lies People Tell

As long as I live I don't think that I will ever understand why people feel they have to lie to someone to keep them. A couple of months ago I started talking to someone romantically, we weren't dating but we were close to it. I suppose we were seeing each other. It was cool for a couple weeks but then the novelty wore off and it occurred to me that the relationship wouldn't go anywhere. We decided to end things after a few months of seeing each other. Honey had some objections with the way I conduct myself while dating.

I tend to follow a few simple rules when dating. First, nothing becomes official before 6 months of continuous dating. Second, no hanky panky. A girl can't just give her goodies to any old fool that thinks she's cute. Third and maybe most important, PLAY YOUR POSITION. This means that if I am not officially your girlfriend I'm not going to act like it.

Allow me to expand on that last rule. I would expect honesty from anyone in my life, but if I am just getting to know you honesty is mandatory. How can you build a relationship on lies? It just isn't possible. So if during the course of courting a question is asked, i.e. are you seeing anyone else, answer truthfully because yes it could hurt any chances with me or it might not even matter. But the decision should be left to me to make. I don't get why the truth is so hard. When I catch someone in a lie that is the end. I don't deal with liars! Growing up we got punished for lying because our parents believed that children who lie, steal; children who steal kill. It might be a bit of an exaggeration, but really. If you can lie straight to someones face what else can you do?!

The lies that people tell and the deceit is the main reason I remain single. I don't trust many people and as more and more people in my life fall into that category I am left suspecting everyone. I am honest to a fault and I don't mind the same quality from people in my life. I find it refreshing. Contrary to what my ex told me after our breakup, lies don't protect the person they are told to. They only protect the person lying. Despite all the BS that I've encountered while dating I still remain a hopeless romantic. I'm sure Prince Charming will ride in any moment and save me from the evil world of dating. Ha!

The White Man's Bitch

Umm...in a way I see what she was trying to get at. In order to reach the people you have to give the people what they want. I have a problem with the N word anyway, let alone using it to refer to Malcolm X. It caught me off guard a little. Maybe she should have tried spoken word or something. Anyhow, listen to the words.

A Tragic Case

I am honestly sick of seeing displays of youth violence like this. If you do a search on Youtube you could find hundreds of videos like this. It is absolutely appalling. On the one hand, the person that captured the video should be chastised for it because instead of calling authorities they chose to stand around and watch. They didn't even give the tape to police. The took it to the news station, which then turned it over to police. On the other hand if they had not filmed the melee authorities probably would have never caught the assailants. The Young man that was jumped by the group and left on the ground later died. He wasn't even involved in the scuffle. Three teenagers were charged with his murder. They are all under the age of 20 and there lives are over just like that.

I have witnessed many a brawl in my years. Although I don't find them the least bit interesting, many of my peers do. They stand around shouting, excited, fueling the violence. Once authorities show up they disperse as if nothing had ever happened. No one makes any attempt to notify authorities of the situation or even to see if the victim was alright. Its funny my coworker and I were just having a conversation today about middle school beef. Beef that's so old no one currently in the school knows why they don't like the other school, but they just don't. This is perfect example.

It really is a shame how much disregard todays youth have for human life. It could have been any one of the bystanders that were standing around that lost their lives. Whatever happened to love thy neighbor or the golden rule. Its golden for a reason. I think it is now up to that community to stop the nonsense. How many innocent children have to lose their lives to violence before it is recognized as a problem?

I just get so sad to see young kids in this type of situation. Throwing their lives away trying to prove how tough they are. But I'm not even sorry for them. It doesn't take a genius to know that stepping on someones head isn't a good idea, or beating someone upside the head with a 2x4. Hopefully the rest of the brawlers will get caught and face the appropriate consequences.

Sad Situation

I saw a clip of this couple on the Today Show earlier this week. I think this is one of the most tragic things that could happen to a family. All they wanted was to have a baby, which they will but they have to give it up. I would lose my mind! Aren't medical facilities supposed make sure mistakes such as this don't happen? Thank goodness it was just a baby and not the wrong blood or medicine. This couple should be commended for what they are doing. Another couple might take the situation into court and fight for the right to the child. God Bless the kind-hearted.

The Truth Is...

The truth is that I have been on the path of changing my life this past year. I haven't been very dilligent in my efforts. I take long periods off, eat crap most of the time, and sometimes I drink like a fish! I feel guilty when I do these things because I know that the power to change is within me. Since I got sick a couple of weeks ago I have played around in the gym. My shoes are the only thing that motivate me. They are cute and blu & white! With the new season of Biggest Loser airing I'm feeling sincere shame. I am only a couple Whopper Jrs. away from seriously needing to be featured on the show. It actually scares me. I couldn't take not being able to live the quality of life that I enjoy. I fear that I will never hear the end of my mother's complaints about my weight. That in itself is enough to drive me crazy.

But as of last week I have lost that zest for the run. I blame my Ipod shuffle. It keeps malfunctioning which puts me in a pissy mood while I am trying to get my run on. Whoever thought to put the controls on the earphone itself is a moron(I'm just saying)! I need to find water resistant earphones quick. I still intend on running the Ukrops Monument 10k race in May. I have a lot of time to get myself ready but I just miss the feeling I used to get lacing up. I think I'm in need of motivation. I might also need a partner but I hesitate to add someone else into my regimen because it might slow me down.

I plan to get out of this funk by Tuesday(the next time I workout). I have a nice little massage scheduled for tomorrow and after that I will catch up on rest. Grocery shopping will also take place this week so I can get some good old healthy eating in. Gonna get the boat back in the sea!

Ignorance is bliss, but not in this case

These nincompoops! The girl driving is actual excited to see cops come at her with guns and cameras because "they gon' be on tv". Why in the hell would you think someone would leave their doors unlocked with their keys inside a car?! It reeks of setup to me but then I have always been a thinkin' woman!

Joe Wilson-The Worst American of the Year

Whatever happened to standing by the Chief? The President is supposed to be the highest office in the land. When George W. Bush made a mockery of the position for 8 years I never once heard a Congressman disrespect him to his face. I have had to watch numerous press conferences and speeches and I have not heard a peep out of anyone during. Today marked a low point in the ever descending political climate since President Obama took office. During his speech on healthcare reform a republican congressman, nasty Joe Wilson, actually shouted at the president. THE PRESIDENT!!! I was in utter disbelief because I know for a fact that it would have never happened if the president had been anyone else. How dare he disrespect my president and at the same time make a mockery of the highest office in the land! He ought to be ashamed of himself for not having any dignity whatsoever. I feel sorry for the citizens of South Carolina that have him for a representative. Our elected officials are supposed to serve as models for appropriate behave(big SUPPOSED), particularly in the political realm. Who should the citizens of SC look up to? How about their next congressman after this son of a gun is given the boot!

It makes no sense to me!

A couple of months ago a guy that I went to elementary school with passed away. He didn't die in the usual way that most young men in the area die. He was riding his motorcycle on the interstate and crashed it into a car. There were allegations that he was driving wrecklessly, much like the men in the video. He was a biker boy. As you can see those guys get a thrill from chancing their life. I have been on the highway at home many times and gotten the buhjebus scared out of me as a crew of motorcycle rides sped past me. They drive at illegal speeds regularly. I was sad to hear of my childhood friend passing but even more sad to hear that his death could actually have been avoided. I think it is unfortunate that so many young men take pleasure in Blasting around the Beltway. People are dying senselessly and there is no one to blame but themselves. It is just pure tragedy.

Hair Stuff I Love

Since I have braids and can't play with my hair for another month I thought to complie a list to hold me over:

Oyin Handmdade products
Honey Hemp Conditioner


Juices & Berries


Chagrin Valley Natural Soaps

Nettle Shampoo Bar


Carrot Milk & Honey


Cantu Leave In Shea butter


IC Fantasia Gel


Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose Shampoo & conditioner

I feel like a bum. I'm still kind of sick and I have not exercised for about 5 days now. I was serious when I pledged myself to my fitness routine. I got sick in the beginning of last week. I was stuffy, sneezy, and I hurt. I thought I had caught the swine flu that had been going around.I am uber paranoid so I read numerous articles on it just to be sure I knew every possible symptom but lucky for me none came up. I have really changed my life since then. I wash my hands every 30 minutes, sanitize, and I NEVER touch my face. I'm uninsured and can't risk getting a life threatening illness. So since I'm not on the verge of death I can't find a reason not to get my butt in the gym tomorrow. I'm longing for it. Hopefully it hasn't been too long. I'm just going to run for the rest of the week. Nest week I will restart the regimen. My running shoes miss me!

I Miss...

The days when this commercial could light up my day.



And when this song would make me break out in a sprint.

Miley Cyrus is a slut!

So what! I don't understand why people are so surprised by her actions. We have seen female celebs do it all the time. From Britney Spears to Mariah Carey. Most women in the industry start off as sweet hometown girls and when their careers seem to stalement or when they want a little more attention they sex it up. Most teen celebs get sexy at her age ie...



I am not at all surprised that she has taken this turn. She is probably looking to extend her career past Disney.There are more teen stars out there that are positive role models for the CHILDREN that admire them. Why can't the focus be on them instead of the young harlots? I just get sick of hearing of wtf Miley Cyrus is doing or Jamie Lynn Spears and her baby or Vanessa Hudgens naked pics. Maybe if the focus was on positivity little girls wouldn't think that sexy=grown up.

Jiggling Baby!

I killed day one of my new workout plan. I must say I am proud of myself. I really did not want to go but I got my behind outta bed and did it. I had slight pain in my calves but by my third run cycle it had gone away. I did have a slight hinderance though. My boobs were not playing nice. It felt like I had twin 8 month olds wrastling on my chest. I either need a new sports bra or double up any time I go running. Trying to contain double D's is nearly impossible with the little bit of fabric in a sports bra. If anyone knows where I could find a quality sports bra feel free to drop me a line.

It Wasn't Me!

So I actually bought into the craze and bought a Megamillions ticket on Friday. I had a good feeling about it, too. Equipped with a glass of wine, my cell phone, and tickets I sat to watch the 11 o' clock news. Unfortunately none of the numbers matched the numbers on my tickets. NONE! I have to admit I was kind of disappointed( much like 7,999,999 others were). I was a little dismayed to find out that most of the winning tickets usually come from New York. I live in VA! That shot my hopes down immediately. I wasn't shocked at all to find out that the winning tickets were in California and surprise surprise NEW YORK. Maybe I shouldn't have started spending the money in my head right after buying my tickets. Hmph!

Lesson Learned

Yesterday I embarked on day 2 of my workout schedule after a weekend of poor choices. I chose to go to a potluck(not bad) but then I chose to eat a bunch of filth just because it was there. I ate a couple of deviled eggs(made by yours truly!), some shake and bake chicken, cake, macaroni & cheese, and to wash it all down some jungle juice of unknown origin. I had just come from an amazing workout too! I got in the gym yesterday evening all geared up to put in an hour. I started out strong but when I got to my second run cycle I felt my legs burning. I tried to push through the pain but it was too much. I got 8.5 mins of running. 8.5! I added 3 minutes onto that. I felt like such a failure. I ended up staying on the treadmill for 75 minutes. The pain stopped but not the regret. I really wish I had just pushed a little harder. I burned 460 calories and made 4 miles. Pretty decent for day 2. I guess what you eat does have some kind of impact on your workout. I need to remember to keep it light, especially before working out. I just love food so much, I need to make better choices with the foods I put in my body. I'm still a work in progress.

Oh yeah!

It occurred to me that I haven't mentioned what my workout plan is. I have read that in order to increase your endurance while running a run/walk routine is beneficial. A friend of mine walks 5 mins and runs for 3. I decided to switch it up since I need to get over my laziness and I love a good challenge. I tried my combo a couple of weeks ago and I was only able to run 2x. I almost died attempting the 3rd time. Since then I have not worked out at all. When my shoes came I wanted to break them in immediately so I headed directly to the gym. Because my feet weren't killing me I was able to run/walk for 35 mins then I walked for another 30. By the end of my workout I had 2.5 miles in distance and 400 calories lost. I Probably could have gone further and lost more calories but the quitter in my slowed down dramatically after I ran/walked for 35 mins. I intended to cool down for 10 mins then go home. But my Ipod kept the hits rolling and I saw no point. Next time I'm in the gym(later today) I will keep my speed up and just plan on being there a whole hour. I may come home and do an ab workout. I'll see how I feel after my run. My workout plan consist of one day on one day off in order to let my muscles rest and regenerate.

Feelin' Good...

My shoes finally came yesterday! I had just woken up from a nap when I heard my door bell ring. I jumped out of bed and ran to the door. I almost puked on the delivery guy when I got there. It was worth it though. I immediately slipped them on, stretched a little, and headed for the gym. With my new workout accessories I felt so ready to set my workout plan into effect. I utilized some tips that I picked up from Runnersworld.com. I made sure to firmly plant my feet on the treadmill, stand up straight looking ahead and not down, and pumped my arms at my side instead of across my body. I also read somewhere else that its best to breath with your mouth closed. That seemed to help me out a lot. I wasn't as winded as I normally would be. Oh, back to the shoes. They are really comfortable. I didn't have the leg aches and pain in my feet after my work out. I was even able to run a mile. Check me out right! This seems like the start of something beautiful.

I'm confused...

This link was in a natural hair forum. It says to petition the US military from discriminating against natural black hair. If it was any other department of the US government I might agree, but its the military. Don't they require ANYONE(males) with long hair to cut it? I may be wrong. If you are a woman you have to be able to fit your hair under you hat. How is it discrimination if the rule applies to everyone? Also, prior to joining the military I'm sure you sign a contract of some sort containing regulation on dress and appearance. If a recruit read through the contract and objected to that clause then why sign it and try to make a fuss in afterward? I think the petition is ridiculous. If it wants to fight for locs then it has to fight for everybody's locs black, white, asian, or hispanic. To not do so would be an act of discrimination. We can't have that!

TOO MANY WEAVES

I thought this was funny. Especially being in Richmond.

Black Girl Running!

Last week while reading a blog about natural hair I ran across a blog called Black Girls Run. I have been getting into my health more and more so I was interested in what I might find on the blog. I was glad to find a ton of useful information and links. I am training for a 10k this March so I can use all the help I find. I think most of my friends think I'm just talking it about and that I might change my mind in a couple of weeks. I don't talk about it much anymore because I know that actions speak louder than words. I have been working on my endurance and every day I find I can run a little further. I love that I can push myself regardless of how I feel. I have never been a quitter so that is no surprise. I recently made 2 big purchases to reward myself for my hard work so far. I got a brand new pair of running shoes because my old ones are from Payless and they kill my feet.

I also bought a new Ipod shuffle to help keep me focused on my runs.

I love it so far, even thought I can't figure it out. The shoes will be here in a week or so. I'm seriously thinking about signing up for a 5k in November. I just want to run! It's the perfect stress reliever. In January the YMCA has a 10 week training course for the 10k. I'm going to sign up for that but I don't want to embarrass myself, so I will get myself ready for the 10k by January. Then when it is time for the course I will look like a natural(hopefully).

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

While Away

I just spent 5 whole days with my family and friends. It went by way too quickly. While being back home I realized that I need to wrap this college era up and mosey on back to Maryland. I miss my family, I miss having a boo, I want to settle down(EWW) and get married and have babies. It may be the baby drool that covered me that has me thinking this way but I kind of like it.

Im in Maryland for the next 4-5 days with little to no internet access so blogging is impossible. Im sure my family will give me lots to write about. Ok bye!:-)

Been Here Before!

LLS!!! A friend of mine posted this to twitter. I'm feeling it!

Planning For The Future

I'm tired of being broke. It is starting to get in the way of my life. I think I could do so much more and have so much fun if money didn't get in the way. So I have decided to start saving. I have always had a savings account but I always end up taking money from it which is counterproductive. I opened up an account with ING back in April to help me. They have a 1.49% interest rate. All I have to do is leave my money in there and it makes money. Instead of using my savings that is linked to my checking I will just put the money in there because I think about it less. Hopefully by the end of 2010 I will have a nice little nest egg. I'm striving for the thousands, or at least a thousand. I think that at this time in my life I should be able to accomplish such a task. That way when I get a career I will be used to putting money away. I have also decided to live the rest of this year very humbly. By that I mean no unnecessary spending i.e. No eating out, cloth purchases, bar hopping excessively, and random running around in my car using up gas. I know if I set my mind to it I can do this. The fact that it will put money in the back is an incentive. I will keep my fingers crossed that no unexpected surprises come up(my car!). Wish me luck!

What Kind of Fuckery Is This?!

What could possibly possess a person to want to do such a thing? Im sure the ASPCA needs to be informed about this. Or PETA. Someone needs to do something because we can not have these two perverts breeding.

Bathroom Horror

One thing I can not stand about going into public restrooms is going in when someone is currently using it. I do not like to use the bathroom directly after someone so I usually go into the stall without the running toilet. Today I went into the bathroom at work. It's usually empty so I thought I would be safe for a quick tinkle-wash-&-go. To my surprise there was an older lady in there already. She seemed to be just standing in the mirror. There are only 2 stalls in the bathroom and she happened to be standing right in front(blocking) the one closest to the door. I had no choice but to go into the one with the flowing toilet. As soon as I stepped in I could smell the scent of umm...usage? I nearly gagged. As quick I could jump out of there I did. I was going to go into the other stall but she went in quicker than I could get out. It must have been a sight to see, me trying to maneuver my way around this little old lady. In the end I had to use the stinky stall. I pulled my shirt over my nose and rushed through my task. I think I might just start traveling with a small can of air freshener just for moments like those.

Solange Shaves Her Head

When I first saw this pic I fell in love. Not too long ago I did the same thing. Some people thought I was crazy, some people thought I was going through relationship issues, and some people thought that I was the bravest woman in the world. I may not be the bravest woman in the world, but I was brave nonetheless. Stepping out from the chains that shackle black women in America was a bold move. I, as well as millions of women have done the same thing. I can not begin to describe the feeling of freedom you feel when you cut it all off. I can honestly say that I've never felt so beautiful. I'm glad she decided to free herself from that bondage. More women should jump on the bandwagon.

Excuse me, Sir?

Last night I was invited to a house warming party for one of my sorority sisters. I had just gotten off of work at midnight and wanted to freshen up and change before going. Originally I had on a very revealing top, but that didn't matter much at work because I have a uniform shirt. So, I went home and changed into a t-shirt that was less revealing. I knew the host and one other person that was there. I usually try not to draw attention to my chest because, well, they are kind of like a big deal. For those that actually read my blog I just posted about my love hate relationship with my boobs. The attention men like to throw at them does not flatter me at all. Any how, I get to the party and she introduces me to some of her coworkers, most of them just happen to be males. We get into a conversation about sobriety. At this point I had only had one drink, even though it was strong I could hold it pretty well(I am not an alkie!). One of the guys is absolutely intrigues by the fact that I can handle my liquor so well. He says I must be a camel. I find that remark funny so I add " I guess I keep it in my hump". Then he throws in "which one?". I swiftly put him in his place because A. He didn't know me; B. It's rude to comment on someones body; and C. I found it extremely disrespectful. He apologized and I accepted his apology but it made me view him differently. Was I wrong? I know I'm good for going off on someone for coming out of their mouth the wrong way, but when it comes to me and my body I can be extra fierce. I feel like I have every right. We ended up mending our differences and had a great rest of the night.

I've Got Big Boobs!

My mother always told me that her biggest fear was that I would grow to have boobs like my fathers side of the family. Her fears were confirmed when I began to develop at the tender age of 6. I am not lying. She took me to the doctor because she thought it could be breast cancer(my mom is quite a drama queen). I remember him touching my chest and saying "Oh, they're just breast". By the age of eight I was already in big girl bras, a size 34 B. Not too long after I shot to 36 C. I stayed at that size for some time. 36 C might not seem that big, but I was a petite little lady. That all changed my first year in college. Most of my freshmen pounds were deposited directly into my boobs. Most girls would have been overjoyed, but this meant that I wouldn't stand a chance wearing some of the cute little tops that my counterparts were wearing. I couldn't wear anything that would not allow me to to wear a bra. If I tried to be cute without one in a tube top I might just end up with the tube top around my belly. That might be fun for some people but definately not me! These boobs have stayed growing over the years pushing me into the double letters, and you dont even want to know what number.

I'm good with dealing with them, but I've got some complaints. First, my back always hurts. ALWAYS! Second, I always have a touch time fitting them into things. My arms, shoulders, and stomach might fit into a shirt but definately NOT my boobs. It always looks like Im busting out of shirts. I cant do buttons for fear one might pop off and strike someone in the eye. Lastly, they incite me to violence. Whenever I catch someone looking at them or making an obscene comment I fly off the handle. I can't help it. Just because they are large DOES NOT give someone permission to belittle me. A lot of guys think that they can say whatever they want about a woman's body and she should take it as a compliment. I do not find it flattering. Flattery would be commenting on my witty personality, or my amazing conversation skills, not the niceness of my tits. They are a part of my body, just like eyes, and I resent them being objectified.

This is not a post about me hating my boobs. Because honestly I love them. They are amazing and they are a part of me. We just run into these issues every now and again. I'm sure many women know about this love/hate relationship with boobs. The hate part comes out of frustration or agitation. All in all I could not live without them. Big, supple, soft, amazing my boobs!

Natural Extensions. huh?

Someone posted this video in a hair forum. I can't say that I'm offended. There actually are people that ignorant in this world. I used to be one of them. I would just go to a store and buy a product because of what the company said it was, not what the product had in it. Although I only sported a weave once(in order to emulate Beyonce), I was fully aware of the falseness of it in spite it being marketed as human hair. The fact of the matter is that millions of African American women are completely ignorant of what they put on or in their hair. Since I decided to go back to my natural hair I have taken notice of not just my hair products but also anything I put into my body. More people need to do the same. I think the video adequately displays the mentality of many black women.

16 & Pregnant

MTV's 16 and Pregnant - MTV Shows

This show scares the sh** out of me. I'm in my twenties. I think MTV is trying to repair some of the damage its caused to society. It seems like every episode is a Scared Straight for teenage girls, not so much the boys tho. I think there is a very important message to the show. Having sex might be fun, and you might think you and your partner are in love, but when the baby comes everything changes. It will be interesting to see a follow up show in a couple of years, and to see the lives these people are living. I hope teenage girls across America are taking heed.

The Game

Although I have only watched the show a handful of times, I can honestly say that I love it. I never wanted to commit myself because I feared that as soon as I dedicated my time to tuning in it would be canceled. It eventually was, but then BET picked up the reruns. I just found out that the network is in talks to purchase the rights and start filming a fourth season. I will keep my fingers crossed for this one!

Sometimes...

I wonder what mischief our former president is getting himself into these days.






Whoever thought it was a good idea to put a comedian in the White House was clearly onto something!

I Would Walk 500 Miles...

Well, not really. The most I have walked is 6.5. But it's a start! I'm kind of over driving. I love my car but the ole girl is getting stressed I believe. This morning I set out to walk from my house on the Southside of RVA to the downtown area. I have never walked that far alone. At first I wanted to change my mind, but good old Fantasia came on my Ipod. Something about the song "I Believe" just kept me going. I had to laugh at the corniness of it really. Its one of those power ballads. Anyway, my feet started to hurt shortly after the song finish, then my ovaries started aching. I knew it was the devils work so I had to shake it off. I made it the whole 4+ miles without stopping or getting a ride. I'm not going to lie, the thought crossed my mind. When I got to work I felt so accomplished. If it wasn't so hot outside it might have been enjoyable. I can't wait for the fall. The cool air is so necessary.

My President is NOT a pervert.

Nuff said. Oh, those French!

Chocolate High

This song makes me want a boo. Just a little, not enough to make me go and find one. For the time being I will just groove to this.

I just want to pay my bill!!!

Why is it that people who work customer service have the nastiest attitudes? I just wanted to pay my utility bill at the city's public service building. I went in, upon seeing a room full of people I went up to the information desk and simply asked if I had to take a number to pay a bill. The lady at the desk had to take a break from her conversation with her coworker to answer me. She told me I needed to go to the back of the room. When I got to the back I asked a lady that was standing back there if that was where I go to get a number. She mumbled something inaudible. I finally just went up the the counter for payment services and got serviced right away. Maybe I was unclear about my intentions when I approached the desk or maybe she was just an idiot. I'm betting on the latter. People in customer service need to realize that no one cares that you hate your job. If its that serious just quit! Or they can wait until they get enough complaints to get them fired. I'm over it!

Oh, the rain...

Why is it that rain always dampens a mood. I woke up feeling extra lazy today. I had the toughest time getting out of my bed(it is really comfy). Now, I'm sitting at work until midnight, looking out at the gray sky and raindrops falling. It kind of makes me depressed. I would much rather be cuddled up in bed watching TCM and drinking ovaltine. Maybe next Sunday.

This never gets old!

Why I Am Now Officially An Ex-Fan of Nancy Grace

I used to be an avid viewer of the Nancy Grace show. Every night at 8pm eastern time I was tuned in. I loved her no-nonsense attitude. Too often it seems like women get taken for meek little sheep. But Nancy was different. That was until she had a set of kids. She took a nice little maternity leave because her kids were born premature. When she returned it seemed like she had lost something. She seemed softer. I'm not saying that my discontent stemmed from the birth of her children. In fact, I was happy for her. I even took the time to go to her website and look at pics of the nursery and such. I congratulated her. Her first couple of episodes were alright. And then...thats when it happened! What happen you might ask? Caylee Anthony. Every minute of the show covered the bizarre case. It went way past the standard amount of coverage I have ever seen for a missing child. After about a week of coverage it was clear to me that the childs mother had probably killed her in attempt to regain her social freedom. Nancy couldnt see it though. She pleaded for Caylees safe return. She pleaded for an entire year! The only break in coverage that I observed was for the murder of Jennifer Hudsons' family. How kind of her! Afterwhich she returned to covering the Caylee Anthony case. I was just over it. Not to sound insensitive but little kids turn up missing all the time. I dont see the good of only covering one case. A lot of mothers that actually wanted their children back home with them could have used that airtime to plead their cases and get their childs' image out to the public.
On June 29th I decided to see if Nancy was over her Caylee stage. She was! On the show she was covering the death of Michael Jackson. She had on a panel of guests. One of which was Brian Oxman, Jackson family lawyer. The show failed to mention that this man had little to no contact with Michael Jackson. He was actually the divorce lawyer for Jackson's brother Randy. Another discrepancy was the breaking news that the LAPD investigators had found 2 bags of drugs, when in actuality it was just 2 bags of evidence, not necessarily drugs. My last gripe and the straw that broke the camels back was when Nancy announced that custody of MJ's children was temporarily granted to his mother 79 year old Kathryn Jackson. Nancy could not fathom the idea that this woman who had raised 9 children would be fit to raise 3 more, simply because of her age. Obviously she does not know the strength of a black woman. For centuried families have been headed by women. In many families the woman is a grandmother. That fact does not make her any less competent to raise children. Nancy continually berated the idea. She then tried to turn her attention to the fact that Joe Jackson would also be in the home. Asking one viewer that called in if she knew of Joe's history of abuse. She claimed that since Kathryn did nothing then that she would probably not do anything to stop the abuse of her grandchildren.
I find the level of contempt in Nancy's voice extremely disgusting. She has placed judgement on the family without knowing all the facts; a huge err on the part of the former prosecutor. I can no longer even consider watching this show. I once admired her views on many issues, but I can not stand by this one. Her priorities no longer correspond to mine and because of that I am now an Ex-fan of Nancy Grace.


K.E.F.

I recent read a blog titled "Our Little Sister Died" by a young lady on the Xanga Blog Community. This post was in response to the death of Music legend Michael Jackson. I had read that a lot of black people might get upset at reading the post so I felt obligated as a black woman to take a look. I was surprised to not find anything remotely shocking in her post. It is no surprise that everyday hundreds of thousands of people are murdered, raped, and exploited. The only surprise is how desensitized we have become to such atrocities. Once upon a time the news of a child getting murdered would have sparked national outrage. After so many years of this being commonplace it now falls in with all other crimes; unfortunate but its our reality.
In this country there is a flood of information about everything. We even get flooded with some of the most horrific images. Somethings I would rather not see. Even though one could find an assortment of people that feel the same way, we still get bombarded with these images. I can think back to Sept. 11. My school had let us out early. From the moment I got home that day until way into a couple of weeks later I watched the buildings fall again and again. I saw people jumping from the buildings and fleeing for their lives. I wasn't watching because I liked what I saw but because I was grasping for some kind of understanding for all the pain and torture that day. They eventually stopped showing the footage because of the anxiety that it caused to Americans.
Im going to take a guess that anxiety is what we are being protected against. If the networks showed every murder or crime it would be proof that this place that we live in is near hell. It would also force us to have to look at our society for what it is. The truth of the matter is that many people are aware of what goes on, but they simply do not care. In the African American community there have been many unsolved crimes. These crimes never even make it to the local news. I have always found this troubling. I have personally seen the faces of mothers that know they will never see their children again; even worse the perpetrators will never be brought to justice. It is perhaps still one of the most shameful aspects of American society. Some peoples lives are worth more than others.
I was moved by the aforementioned post because I understood where the poster was coming from. I don't feel that MJ's death took away from the recognition of the worlds atrocities. After all he passed away one day this year, but these things happen year round.

RIP Michael Jackson

I can still remember being 6 years old and begging my mother to stay awake so that I could finish watch The Jacksons:An American Dream. I sat captivated by the success story. This family sacrifice their lives for their success. It was inspirational. I remember feeling moved by every scene, good or bad. Well, yesterday was one of those bad scenes for the family. At 2:26pm the Jackson family lost a very important member.
I was not the biggest Michael Jackson fan, but I loved his music. His hits could always get me up and moving. I have been doing so for the part 20 hours or so now. His music could be described as magical. He changed music in ways that other artist could only hope to do in their careers. Its a shame that he will no longer be around to release more music.
I just hope that since he's gone his fans can heal. I also hope that people don't start bashing this man now that he can no longer defend himself. In the time since his passing I have seen several statuses that labeled him a perv or a creep. People are so quick to label someone because of their differences. While I am not justifying his actions, I know that there is always a background story to every case. We are all well aware of his childhood. I'm sure there were somethings that he never talked about with any reporter. The saddest part of this all is that he probably never found peace with his past.
I hope that his family can look at all the good that he has done and how his work has brought together millions of people. I hope this gives them peace because his life was not in vain. He did what he loved doing and what he was best at.

Rest in perfect peace Michael Jackson, The King of Pop


K.E.F.

Must you be so Incompetent

At my job I work with a few different departments. It never ceases to amaze me the level of incompetence some people display. We are all trying to make things go as smoothly as possible, but these idiots are constantly in the way. For instance, orientation has just started for incoming freshmen at the school. The people in charge of the orientation can not seen to come to make up their minds about what policies to enforce. The staff I work with only has the policies from last years orientation. The entire protocol is different but those assholes refuse to adapt to their own policies, confusing everyone. Its almost like an episode of Punkd. Every day that I am at work I sit waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop up. Its torture really. If there is one thing I cant stand, its having to tell some moron how to do their job. Forcing me to talk in circles like my tape recorder is stuck on repeat. There's just a few weeks left of this madness. Hopefully by next week they will have "worked out their kinks" and the entire building may be at peace once again.

K.E.F.

I Know Better Now

Every year I make a list resolutions. At the top of the list is always "get healthy". I never really thought about what I meant by get healthy. It was just the top priority. I used to start every year with promises of not eating fast food or drinking soda. As if that was enough to change the course I had set myself on. My intentions were good, but there was one small problem: I LOVE FOOD! Its not like I am addicted or anything like that, I just cannot deprive myself because after all it is just food.

Things changed for me at the beginning of 2009. I recall a specific day in which I had sat down in an office chair and struggled to get back up. When I say struggled I mean it! I was out of breath when I got up. I remember being a bit disgusted with myself. How had things gotten so bad?! There was no way I was in this predicament. I made up my mind to "get healthy" from that point on. I even defined what I meant by get healthy. I wanted to start working out at least 3 times a week, eat less calories, no fast food or soda, get more sleep, and drink more water. It may seem like a bit much to take on at the beginning of such a journey, but I feel like an immediate change benefits me.

Since I came upon that epiphany I have exercised more in these 5 months than I have in my entire life! Even better I have stuck to the resolutions I set for myself. Getting healthy for me was never about numbers but an overall improvement of the way I felt. I have even taken myself out of the danger zone for those hereditary ailments like diabetes and high blood pressure. I intend on carrying on this regimen for the rest of my life, or at least until science creates an easy way for me to do it!


Peace and GOOD HEALTH!
K.E.F.

D.O.A.

Its a trend! While I can not recall the first time I heard a track with autotune, I know that by the time I noticed a song with its sound it was already everywhere. Most of the songs were your club bangers. Certified hits that made any party jump. I definately have enjoyed my share of hits. I never gave a second thought to any artist utilizing the autotune. I don't think its a form of selling out. However Jay-Z sees it as a menace, so much so that he thinks it needs to be put to death. It seems to me that this is just a sorry excuse to start some ish in the hip hop community. Didn't this dude just end a beef not too long ago?! With the release of the Blueprint 3, Mr. Z may just be trying to attach some hype to his 2nd post retirement album. I have listened to the song many times and I just don't get what's so good about it. He shouts some people out who have been known to use autotune in the majority of their hits, but at the same time calls for the end of their careers. Jay Z may be a little out of his element when it comes to this one. He has stuck to the formula that got him where he is without giving in to current trends. Very few artist have this privilege. Especially those that build their careers on the rhymes of other, ahem, deceased rappers.I think its just plain obnoxious to call people out for utilizing a tool to help them gain their own fame and notoriety. If he is that pretentious and seeks to end others peoples careers to make himself look good, then he needs to put himself in a category of industry lame.

K.E.F

Yo!

I decided to get more proactive with blogging. I have tons of opinions on lots of things, I guess this is the place to get it out. Check it out or don't! Hopefully this will be as productive as possible.

Peace